Monday Mention: Zombie Elementary: The Real Story

Zombie Elementary: The Real Story
by Howard Whitehouse

Larry Mullet is your typical fourth grader. He's not the biggest kid or the smartest kid or the best looking kid. He rides his bike, plays baseball, takes the school bus, avoids cafeteria food, and--oh yeah, he's a zombie hunting expert. Larry was just doing his usual thing when Alex Bates from Ms Hoag's class tried to eat him. Sadly, that was only the beginning. - Goodreads

While being cute and easy to read for most kids, this story could have used a bit more zombie dialogue than the redundancy of "BRAAAAIIINS" and "AAAAAARGNNNNNN". I did enjoy how the story was set up. Larry is doing a Tell All file to a buddy named Kyle about zombies coming to school, how they got rid of them, and how no adults really seemed to take notice. I enjoyed a character called Chucky and his Grandma since they were kooky and all hillbilly. There was just enough gore like heads being hit off bodies and missing legs but no blood or guts type of gore. It was good for what type of audience this is intended for. I just had such struggles with that redundant zombie noise and how Larry kept trying to explain metaphors or ask if something was a word. It was like the author was trying too hard. 

The research, aka movie watching, Larry was doing seemed like content beyond his age and too mature to watch alone. As much as I love zombie flicks, kids should not watch 28 Days Later or WWZ, Resident Evil or Shaun of the Dead.
I thought the layout of the book worked great with a back and forth narrating to a script like dialogue by Larry and the interviewer. Also "Zombie Tips" are thrown through out the book which are both zany and helpful.

2 out of 5 monkey brains

Control your dog!

Tonight I was at the dog park with my boo and pup and you always have those moments of either your dog being a total weirdo or someone else's dog wanting to get ruff *teehee* with yours. Now Dexter is a wee Minpin but he can be tough if needed but really he is such a sweet little wuss. But if you want your dog to be controlled and even more scary get the werewolf/zombie dog muzzle!


As if seeing dogs with a muzzle on wasn't already a stigma, might as well slap this sucker on! Just like Geekologie said wearing this probably will get you kicked out of a dog park (or anywhere) or a few phone calls to the authorities. 



Would you want your pooch in this?

Monday Mention: Good Night, Zombie (Scary Tales #3)

Good Night, Zombie (Scary Tales #3)

by James Preller, Iacopo Bruno (Illustrations)

Welcome. Have a seat. Ignore the shambling undead outside. Let us tell you a story. But be warned. Good Night, Zombie isn’t just any tale. This is a Scary Tale. - Goodreads

For young children this tale has such a spooky feel to it. Any school after hours always feels strange and scary with the dark, quiet halls. Now throw in an old man spouting tales about curses and phrasing like "They are coming" and no one will feel comfortable. These three unknown children end up creating a bond as they go through an evening of black crows and zombies surrounding the school, a creepy old janitor they have never seen before, and a having their memory wiped of it. With little character build but a fast moving plot, this little tale would have been great until the very end where it got cheesy and the author reiterated the experience in a closing paragraph. Besides that it was still a great read for young kids looking to be scared shitless. 

3 out of 5 monkey brains

Fear the Walking Dead

First off I want to admit something that fellow zombie lovers would shame me for.... I didn't even know this show was coming on until a week before. GASP I know....It might have been I have no cable, I don't follow the right things on FB, Instagram, or Twitter (I hardly peruse it anymore), or maybe I was focused on my dog a lot this summer. Either way, I am sorry.


Now that I have shamed myself let's hop to a quick review of the show! 
If you haven't seen it yet (second episode was last night) then watch a trailer for the show below.

The show focuses on what happened before Rick and his gang got shit on all the time, before all our favorite and loved characters were eaten. This series is the prequel, the when, how and maybe why The Walking Dead world we know is like it is. 

Travis Manawa and Madison Clark as their characters on FTWD

As you are watching the first episode you may recognize a few folks from some great other shows. I noticed a few myself. Kim Dickens, plays Madison Clark, is known for Gone Girl, The Blind Side, and a few shows she was one for a bit were House of Cards and Sons of Anarchy. Alycia Debnam-Carey, Dickens' daughter Alicia is none other than Lexa from The 100.

Lexa from The 100

Elizabeth Rodriguez, who I love in OTNB as Aleida Diaz, made a short appearance in the first episode but will be a huge role as Dickens' boyfriend/husband's(?) ex-wife, Liza Ortiz.





So the pilot introduces us to this family and extended family, to their jobs and school where multiple people are "out with the flu"  but focuses on Dickens' son Nick (played by Frank Dillane) being a druggie who witnesses some freaking ass face eating done by his girlfriend in the tweeker church they are bunking in. After being hit by a car his family is trying to understand what he saw but unfortunately a drugged out person doesn't have the best experience with telling the truth or being trustful. So when Nick manages to get out of the hospital and his folks have looked into his story, we learn Nick's family is full of a bunch of assholes for not believing him. Even a news story goes viral showing a man attacking first

responders, getting shot a butt ton, and only succumbing to a head shot. Without giving away the pilot's ending, Nick's family finally believes something is going on with people after they witness someone being ran over MULTIPLE times. This last scene is what makes you shit your pants cause we all know from watching TWD that it all goes down hill from here.

The whole episode was was just anticipating the zombies to come, for someone to realize that person ain't dead; they undead. You are on your seat's edge already hoping this family doesn't get hurt. I thought for sure the old man in the hospital was going to be where we discover this but they got me with someone else. The show still feels like TWD but so far with less gross zombies and more clean people. 

If you are a Walking Dead fan, then you MUST see this show. I will be continuing on this dead path. 

Movie and tv ratings

Although not perfect yet, I am working on a ratings system kind of like the one I do for my book reviews. I use the monkey brains 1-5 rating system, found on the blog under Monday Mention Ratings, and now I want to use the classic thumbs up or down for movies and tv shows.

As it stands, two thumbs up mean I LOVED IT or it's just really good. 

One thumb up means I liked it. Kinda how LIKE on Facebook has lost meaning, you can take this LIKE however you want. 

Then of course a thumbs down is just bad news bear for anything. Didn't like it. Couldn't care for it. Blech. Worst. I've had better. 

Monday Mention: Zombies vs. Mummies: Clash of the Living Dead

Zombies vs. Mummies: Clash of the Living Dead
by Michael O'Hearn, Michael Delahoyde (Consultant)

In a battle of the undead who will prevail? The cursed wrapped mummy or the virus stricken zombie? Both doomed to attack the living, each with a strengths and weaknesses, these creatures will put up their rotten dukes and declare a winner in this book. 

Obviously really short with its 32 pages and while it has some great highlights and makes a great argument that mummies are the tougher, smarter of the undead, this book seems unbelievable since zombies would not attack something dead with no brains. Duh! Zombie logic. Enough said. 

2 out of 5 monkey brains

Zombied cups

Although no longer available from what I can find and from a failed Kickstarter that I missed out on, these Zombied beer mugs and cups each bring a unique twist on brain freeze. The cups can even be used as a candle holder for the brain candle.

Monday Mention: My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish (My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish #1)

My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish (My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish #1)
by Mo O'Hara

When Tom’s big brother decides to become an Evil Scientist, his first experiment involves dunking Frankie the goldfish into toxic green gunk. Tom knows that there is only one thing to do: Zap the fish with a battery and bring him back to life! But there’s something weird about the new Frankie. He’s now a BIG FAT ZOMBIE GOLDFISH with hypnotic powers . . . and he’s out for revenge! - Goodreads

Really this is a juvenile book and it can be read in a day. And if you like reading about fish to your kids or students...well think again.

SO won't be reading the rest of the series. I understand the novel is for elementary kids (I work in a library), and I have no problems checking out what kids are reading, but I really won't be recommending this to anyone. I found too many things that irked me and normally I can move past those and still see a cute read, but not in this one. 
First this book is really like 2 small books into one. That threw me off but I did enjoy the second part better....If I had to choose. 

Second, the word "moron" was overly used which made me feel like I was being verbally abused and that is basically what the older brother(s) were doing to the main character and his friend on top of being dickhole older siblings. Plus be creative with your wording. Repetition makes for a really dull read, even if it is a kids' book.

Third, this "zombie" might be one of the worst zombie concepts I have come across and I have read a lot of smack out there. The zombie goldfish was atleast dead at one point and like Frankensteined back to life BUT basically the fish liked moldy green things to eat, could hypnotize people, and understood humans and was personified quite a lot. Other than the moldy eating and having died at one time, I don't know how this was a zombie.....And why he was called fat. NO FAT SHAMING!
The main character also did too much of explaining himself after he did something. Example, he high-fived his friend and then explained why he thought it was a good time to high-five. Pretty sure those things shouldn't need explaining. What was cute was the misunderstanding of words like perpetrator he thought was PURPLE-TRAITOR. Adorbs! I did enjoy the second story since it was less...mean, I guess. Not too many "moron"s but still overly used. 
No kid besides those in like grade 4 or below should read this so it makes me sad I have seen grade 5 and 6 students take this out and I know their reading levels are higher. This novel doesn't challenge them enough. 

Done rant. 

2 out of 5 monkey brains

Come here Fido!

Who says you have to be alone in the apocalypse or even on a zombie walk? Now you can buy this poorly made costume for $17 and embarrass the sh!t out of your defenseless pet. Man's best friend just became best undead friend. And ugly. The brain hat is kinda cute. Like a zombie yamaka. Mazal tov!


Thanks Geekologie

Chia zombie "pets"

Above is the zombie Chia line. Gone are the days of kitten, lamb, and cute elephants. Welcome Creepy Holden, Restless Arm, and Lifeless Lisa. This bundle sells about $30 CAD on Amazon. Does any buddy actually grow these? I have never seen anyone in my life do so. I feel like I'm super lucky just to have my bamboo plant be alive for almost 10 years even with the lack of water I give it...or don't. Maybe these undead guys won't die. Hehe. Get it? Guys their undead...I don't even know what I am saying. Shall I join Lassie out back?

Thanks Geekologie.

You've got something stuck in your hair

What better way to scare and be stylish at the same time then to get these Zombie finger hair clips from Etsy?!

They might be sold out but be sure to ask the owner and you too can be a stranger with someone's fingers in your hair. Who do you think is her hand model? Nice nails and cut marks. 

My issue with these is the alligator clips that tend to get stuck in my curly hair. 
Like I already don't have a enough stuff getting stuck in there....nailwraps, brushes, fiancé's fingers, confetti, bobby pins, hair elastics. I am so like this kid every time I need to brush my hair.

Monday Mention: Attack of the Shark-Headed Zombie

Attack of the Shark-Headed Zombie (Stepping Stones)
 

by Bill Doyle (Goodreads Author), Scott Altman (Illustrator)

 

After Keats and Henry lose their bikes, they need money—fast. The help-wanted ad at the supermarket seems ideal for them. All they have to do is weed Hallway House's garden, find some lightbulbs in the attic, sweep the garage and battle a shark-headed zombie...? 

 - Goodreads

This was actually pretty cute and magical. Boys had to go through a lot to earn some cash. Shows some responsibility. What I don't know is why its a shark-headed zombie. Of course the title made me attracted to this gem when it came across my work desk. The shark was just a shark zombie or zombie shark, whatever way you want to say it. The title makes it sound like its a zombie aka human with a shark head. It looked like a shark, swam like a shark, flopped like a shark, so it was a shark turned zombie. Plain and simple. So weird. It could swim through ground too. 

3 out of 5 monkey brains

Silent Night of the Living Dead!

I am so mature you guys!

Everybody loves to have a nativity set out during the holidays. We even had one in my house and we weren't exactly Jesus fans. Nevertheless they spew Christmas and they are quite fun to mess around with.--->

Being a zombie fan the best nativity set would be a zombie one and it looks like a Kickstarter tried to make our dreams come true this holiday. (It failed! CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!!) Still let us take a moment to relish in the awesomeness that could have been.

The gang is all here...well maybe missing a few parts.

We Three Spleens

Shepard boy is doing some major suckage at his job.

Could Mary be the next Daryl?? NEVER!!

Monday Mention: Pat the Zombie: A Cruel (Adult) Spoof

Pat the Zombie: A Cruel (Adult) Spoof 

by Aaron Ximm, Kaveh Soofi (Illustrator)

A macabre mash-up of the children’s classic Pat the Bunny and the present-day zombie phenomenon, with the tactile features of the original book revoltingly re-imagined for an adult audience. - Goodreads

While the classic presented kids the experience of a touch and feel enhanced reading experience, all I experienced was a face ache from the frowned expression I had reading this. I'm glad I never bought this book. Instead I went to the book store and read it there. It wasn't even worth the listed 5 bucks. While it was a semi good parody and had the interactive elements, the book was flimsy and nothing at all like the board book version it parodies. They should have made it feel like the original board book to be more authentic. That was the whole experience! Sturdy book to drool on. And drooling I might have done if I was stunned with greatness this book could have had. Good effort I guess. 

 

2 out of 5 monkey brains

 

PPZ stil being made a film

Since 2009, a movie has been in the talk for the book of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith. A parody of the classic novel Pride and Prejudice features zombies and martial arts-skilled Bennet girls. (see my review here).

It seems the movie is still a go according to news. Filming starts this month (YAY) with Burr Steels, clearing a fan of Zac Efron, being the director.

"Lily James ("Downton Abbey") will play Elizabeth Bennet, Sam Riley ("Maleficent") will play Mr. Darcy, and Bella Heathcote ("Dark Shadows") will play another of the Bennet sisters."

I would rather it have been Natalie Portman (sha-wing), Emma Stone (BOING) and Lily Collins (*pant*) to play Elizabeth as all 3 were once in talk of playing the role. I don't know these actors enough. I don't trust them....BUT sometimes not being too familiar with someone's work means less expectations. 

One of Seth's other books was brought to life on film in 2012:

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I was pumped to see it since I knew they would leave out all the details but it was just okay for me. And with a 6/10 on IMDB, it was pretty underwhelming. I like my zombies better so I hope this turns out to be a huge hit.

Will you go and see PPZ?

Zombie secrets

So there is an app out there called Whisper where people can share their penis pics and secrets on the go anonymously. Think of PostSecret app they had before they got rid of it. Sweet thing about Whisper it can even show other whispers close to you.
This secret actually came across in my own little area of the city. (Yes I have used Whisper. Great to find the most embarrassing ones and making fun of them. Yes. I am going to hell).  I'll heart this Whisper 100x.

Thanks Whisper for turning into the next Tinder. Now I can delete you.

CW picks up iZombie

Now I have read all the iZombie comics by Chris Roberson and Michael Allred (look for my reviews on ZD!) and not even a few weeks after reading them I find out CW is making it into a show!
 

Tinker

Starring the show is "Once Upon A Time" star Rose McIver playing Liv. Why they had to change Gwen's name? Dumb. Oh and if that wasn't great enough they have changed Gwen, er... Liv's job from gravedigger to a student working in coroner's office, eating the brains so she will absorb their memories and use it to solve their murders with her boss and a detective, among other crimes. FUN TIMES! I don't mind that change since it works with the whole detective genre. 

this guy

Other familiar faces will be David Anders, also from OUAT and then a bunch of people I'm not sure where they are from.
None of the names of the characters are the same of the comics which always makes me sad when they don't honor the original story in any way.  I also don't know if there are any other supernatural characters like in the comic. Don't disappoint CW!

Let's hope they still include some of the witty, crude humor and it won't become a zombie CSI show.